And yet, they drive some of the actions we take, the words we speak, the feelings we feel.
Blind spots are not our intuition driving us to do things. In general, blind spot actions are the ones that puzzle us.
The ones that keep us awake at night as we try to make sense of what we said or did. The ones that caused the other person to react so badly.
Does that mean that blind spots are a bad thing?
No, not necessarily. Here are my thoughts on them.
I believe that our interactions with others can be the catalyst to show us one of our own hidden blind spots.
Nobody knows what’s hidden in their subconscious mind that may be driving their actions.
And yet, those same actions, taken unknowingly by others, can cause us to pause, to recognise a pattern in our own behaviour.
It may take one time, it may take a hundred times, but if we keep seeing the same actions, ones that we identify with on some level, sooner or later we’re going to see that it might be one of our own behaviour patterns.
9 times out of 10 we won’t like that light bulb moment.
But that ‘ha ha’ moment can allow us to decide whether we want to be the person who acts in that way.
Of course, it may be a case of ‘so what, I like that part of me.’
All I’m saying is once we know that a certain way of being causes pain to others, as well as ourselves, it’s always a choice to continue acting that way. It’s no longer one of our blind spots.
Nobody knows what’s hidden in a blind spot until they have an insight that opens their eyes.
Blind spot experiences contain a richness that can help us to grow.
For example, last week I was having coffee with a friend. As she spoke disparagingly about her family, I recognised a mean habit of mine.
Until that moment, I hadn’t realised I was guilty of acting in the same way and how damaging it was.
I didn’t like the thought that I could act that way. It nagged at me until I realised that it was something that I could change.
I was truly grateful to my friend because it’s what opened my eyes to the hidden dangers of one of my blind spots.
I don’t know about you, but I want to take my actions from a place of knowing that it’s my choice, and not from a fearful subconscious acting out its own version of a long forgotten drama.
So what are some of the signs that a blind spot is acting on our behalf?
How is the other person responding? If they seem uncomfortable, or confused, the chances are we’re speaking out of character.
If they start to get angry over something seemingly trivial, it may be because they see their own blind spots.
I’m not saying that everything negative comes from a hidden place within. I am saying that we all have areas to develop and until we ‘see’ what they are, we can’t address them.
I try to take love actions. If I can’t do, or say, something that feels like it originates from my heart, then I keep quiet.
I ask myself, ‘what did I learn today?’ and make a note of anything that resonates with me.
I’m pretty sure I haven’t unmasked all my own blind spots. What I do know is, that when I have the gift of an insight into one, I feel my inner well-being expand with joy, which makes the experience all the sweeter.
Best bonus of all. I get to sleep soundly at night, and for that I am very grateful.
Photo thanks to Radleigh Valantine