Nevertheless, it’s true for each and every one of us.
I never knew it was true for me for a long time.
I thought love came with a price tag. Was something to be earned. Awarded to me by others.
That it had to be bought in some way. As in you do something for me and I will love you in return.
If I wasn’t given the love I thought I’d earned I spiralled downwards into one very unhappy person.
Of course, it was never my fault. It was always the fault of the other person who had reneged on their promise(s).
I guess I was what you’d call emotionally ‘high maintenance’.
I played the blame game every day, not knowing that the currency of love doesn’t have a price tag in any way or form.
I never knew that love was the centre of our being and that no matter what I did, or said, love would never leave me.
I never knew that the first person I had to learn to love was myself. That I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone. That just being me was enough.
And, until I could love myself warts and all, I’d be unable to love anyone, or anything, without conditions attached.
I think it was the feeling that something was missing. If I could just put my finger on what was missing, I might be able to dissolve those feelings of not being good enough, not being loved, second best if you like.
I’ve always been blessed with people who could make me laugh and I know that’s what saved me from spiralling down even further.
I began my quest to find the missing part of me, not knowing that love is the centre of being and was inside of me all along.
That’s not to say it didn’t try to reach me. It’s just that I chose to ignore the wisdom trying to break free from inside of me.
Instead I put my trust in the fabrications coming from others, well meaning or otherwise, because that’s all I knew.
The teacher appears when the pupil is willing. Be it a book, an inspirational speaker, a burst of creativity, little by little, sparks of enlightenment burst through the fog of disenchantment.
I am a work in progress. Always have been. Always will be.
Everything changes and I change with it. Every small spark hits me like a sledgehammer and I want to learn more.
Slowly, so slowly, I began to believe in the truth of love being the centre of being.
Not conditional love. Instead, an anchor of unconditional love steadies me as my heart steers me through life.
Learning to love myself so completely means that the love I bear for others has no strings attached.
Whatever I was feeling was coming from the thoughts I was having at that time. It’s why feelings are the ultimate guide to what’s happening within us. As simple as that.
I don’t even have to try to change my thoughts. All I do is let my thoughts run free and wait for them to change. Which they will do because the true nature of man is innate well-being.
Remember, love is the centre of being.
It’s not about being happy all of the time – life’s not like that.
It’s about not reacting when I’m in a low frame of mind, usually caused by me wanting to change events going on in other people’s lives which are outside of my control.
Not a good time to made decisions or take action.
I’ve learnt to wait until the inner me takes over, gently taking me back to a higher frame of mind and into feelings of happiness, well-being and love.
Now, safe in the knowledge that love is the centre of being, it’s time to make love fuelled decisions, or take love inspired actions, if I want to. Truly does it get any better than that?