Toxic thoughts

It’s a beautiful day so off I go for a walk around the perimeter of my village.  It’s early Sunday morning, no traffic, just birds singing and the occasional dog barking in the distance.  It would be my idea of heaven but for one thing.

My mind is full of toxic thoughts today.  And I don’t like it.  So change your thoughts dummy I can almost hear you shouting.  Well we all know it’s not always that easy.  But it should be.

Here’s the thing.  Sometimes the toxic thoughts win.  They just keep popping into the mind.   Edging round the thoughts you are busy trying to smother them with.  Smothering obviously doesn’t work.

So what does work?  I can only share what helps me when I experience toxic meltdown.

First I keep reminding myself that the thoughts are the product of my mind and are not real.  Just thoughts.  What I really need to uncover is what’s really going on.

What I’ve discovered is when I’m unhappy or uncomfortable with something or someone the thoughts that come up are usually connected to something that made me unhappy in my past.  It’s almost as if I’m trying to flood my mind with everything that ever went wrong.

How crazy is that and yet for me it’s the truth.  Hence the reminders that it’s not true and wasn’t even true way back then.

I then remind myself that toxic thoughts are simply one way my inner well being is letting me know that something is out of kilter.  Toxic thoughts equal feeling uncomfortable, sad or just plain feeling sorry for myself.

The next thing I do is to be gentle with myself.  I ask myself if I’ve beaten myself up enough yet and whether it would be a good idea to just let the thoughts flow through my mind without paying them too much attention.

You see when I pay too much attention then I can’t focus on what it is that I’m not happy about.  What I do know for sure is that if I can let the toxic thoughts flow rather than try to smother them and push them away, then as sure as day follows night the truth will reveal itself.

This is exactly what happened on my walk.  I surrendered to the sheer joy of the blue sky and golden sun, I breathed in pure energising air as I walked and just let my mind do it’s own thing.

To start it was a bit of a jumble and I was feeling very sorry for myself.  Then as the walk progressed I relaxed into myself and just let it go.  By the time I reached my front door my bounce had returned.

I finally remembered that all the solutions lie in my own hands.  Situations and people may and will change but the only thing that ultimately affects me is my reaction and how I choose to act.

As always my happiness and well being depend on those choices.

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