Chatting with a friend who was considering changing her job, she confided that her sense of self-worth was, well, worthless. Stopping her in her tracks, thoughts of not feeling good enough, keeps her in a position she’d like to leave behind her.
To be honest, self-worth is something that affects all of us. Most of us experience feeling unworthy at some point. It can last a life time if you let it. I’ve been there, and it took me a long time to see those feelings of unworthiness for the illusion they really were.
Take my friend Cara. The fear of going out into the world, presenting herself as somebody worthy and pursuing her dream job eats away at her well-being, inner and outer.
Wake up. Life’s too short not to follow your dreams. Fear is an illusion of what may or may not happen. Feelings arise from the ebb and flow of your thoughts. They don’t come from what’s going on around you.
This is good news because it means the answer to challenging situations lie within, not without.
Everyone’s feelings are real. They’re the heart’s guiding system to what’s right, and what’s wrong for you. When something isn’t right, and you feel dis-heartened, sit with it and allow your inner wisdom to guide you to back to inner well-being.
See what pops into your mind as possible solutions. You only have to give them space to filter through.
Healing begins with exploring those possible solutions. Moving forward begins when, the longing to live the dream, overcomes the fear of not going for it. That’s when the adventures, obstacles included, become a reality.
Where do those feelings of unworthiness begin? I believe it starts from a young age. Fresh from the cocoon of a family’s care, meeting and mixing with others, becomes life’s first adventure. And so the dance begins.
Rejection is part of growing up. You meet someone new. You have fun together. You look forward to spending playtime with your new best friend. You joyfully skip over, only to find you’ve been replaced, and have been relegated to being yesterday’s friend.
Disappointed, you quickly let it go as you find a new playmate. At that age, life’s too short not to have fun, right.
And so it continues. Friendships come. Friendships go.
But, how much does it impact on feelings of self-worth, when rejected by friends you want to spend more time with?
If you don’t learn that rejection is natural, a pattern of unworthiness will grow.
Fast forward. The dance through life to find compatible partners can be another minefield of rejection. It has to be, or we’d all settle for what turned up, rather than someone who enriched life.
Good matches click and everything falls into place. What happens when one wants something different? Rejection and more feelings of being unworthy.
Phew! It’s a minefield isn’t it. But, once you know mix and match is normal, something you may experience, you can begin to enjoy it for the rich game that it truly is.
Knowing that your worthiness isn’t dependant on what others think about you sets you free. Your focus can return to growing into who you truly want to be. Who you want to show up as in the world.
Any feelings of unworthiness showing up won’t hold the same power over your worthiness. Instead, sit with those feelings until they ease. Focus on thoughts taking you where you want to go.
Ask yourself ‘who do these feelings of unworthiness really belong to? Return them with love, to whence they came, never to return to this or any other reality. And so it is.’
Learn to love, and accept, yourself exactly as you are in any given moment. Remember, you are the architect who designs and experiences what you create. Make each day a brand new adventure.
Little by little, bit by bit, your self-worth will restore to its natural setting of ‘I’m OK, right now, right here. I’m OK.’
It’s time to fly. To follow your heart. What’s not to love.
Photo thanks to: https://www.facebook.com/InnerBlissIsLikeAKiss